I went back to Graham for awhile, a two-month while. It was stupid and pointless and a waste of my feelings and time.
My love for you is seasonal, it seems. I'm recalling two years ago, when we hung out together, everything so fragile and complex, but when it was just us together, it felt so right.
Two years, I've had feelings for you for two years. And I don't know if they ever stop, but cycle through me like hormones or energy. It's something that's with me all the time, something I feel but my body out of healing tries to suppress. It's all coming back to me now.
Today in Chemistry, and this is going to sound totally and completely terrible and weird, but you put duct tape over my mouth. Admittedly, I was singing Christmas songs, but you did. You looked straight into my eyes and slowly smoothed it over my lips. And then after it was off I smoothed it onto your cheek, almost in effect kissing your cheek. If only, I suppose.
You are still with Carly, as you've been for months, but she's flighty at best, so maybe in the future things will go my way.
Oh wow. Shit.
I just wrote a lot and it all got fucking deleted...
I just...
Wow. Fucking blogger.
